Dropping Your Ego When It Comes To Parenting

When it comes to the children, we need to love and support them, meet them where they are and do what we can to help them succeed in life one step at a time. They will get to where they need to go, we just need to listen and pay attention to THEM instead of our own egos.

 

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Today was my son David’s first day of preschool at the ASYMCA (Armed Services YMCA) and OH EM GEE, he had the most amazing time there! But truthfully, the journey to GET him there was quite the ordeal. So let’s take it back a bit…

 

David was in another preschool last year when he turned 3 years old and he loved it so much, I had to bribe him with a Happy Meal to get him to leave in the afternoons. Preparing him for school there was a tough one because you have to be fully potty trained, but that story is for another blog! HA! Unfortunately, last December, at the end of the week before the kids were dismissed for Christmas break, all the parents received an email that due to understaffing, the program was discontinued with no insight on resuming in the future.

 

If you know David, you know why everyone always says, “Oh that boy will never meet a stranger!”.  He was so devastated to have his class end so abruptly and asked to see his classmates and teacher on a daily basis for months. Up until getting him into this new program, I couldn’t park anywhere near the school to go to the store on base or he would get emotional and beg to go!

 

Fast forward to this summer, David is around the corner from  turning 4 years old, and we all know what that means! PRE-KINDERGARTEN. Pre-K is not something that is required by any means; however, to me it’s very important. Education is a huge deal to my family and getting him exposed to reading, math, art and social studies from an early age is huge in youth development; not to mention with how competitive the world is becoming, I want him to have every educational advantage he can.

 

SO BEGAN THE PRESCHOOL HUNT.

 

Living in Hawaii, I was not aware that apparently Pre-K was one of the luxuries that would cost more than my first damn apartment! I looked into a PUBLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL and girrrrrrrl…. tuition was $980 a month BEFORE the admin fees, processing fees, registration fees and more.

 

$980……

 

Shawn and I moved into our first apartment back in Florida for around $700 a month in rent.

 

I personally think it is such a shame that Pre-K for 4 year olds preparing for Kindergarten has to be so out of reach for people. It was not even just there! Every program I found was $650 – $1,000 a month, even on half days (or they were waitlisted for a year.)

 

I went to bed one night, just  a few days ago, feeling so defeated, stressed out and I felt like I was failing my son by thinking I wouldn’t be able to get him into a program! That night I received and email from my “Letters from the Universe” subscription and it read, “Do not wish change upon your loved ones for you don’t realize how it would change the others.”

 

I didn’t get it at the time, but I would very soon…

 

The next day, I remembered that Davids friend attended a preschool program at the ASYMCA and loved it. I called them IMMEDIATELY that morning when they opened and scheduled a time to come in for David to have a placement assessment. (There are 3 different class levels.)

 

He did amazing during his assessment while I was chatting with an administrator about tuition, schedules and paperwork. Being like any mom would be, I had a bit of an ego surround my baby boy, and ASSUMED he was SUCH a genius that he would test into the middle or most advanced class. I mean, how could my David not?!

 

WRONG.

 

He tested into the first of the three classes, which was also a parent participation class.

 

hustling, parenting, balancing

 

The teacher was explaining to me why she felt he would do best to start in that class, and of course I asked if we could opt in to the next level anyway. (Obviously I could not lol) I really started to feel my ego pop up and get a bit defensive but ya know what?

 

I told it to sit the hell down. I quickly remembered the note from the Universe, that told me to not wish change upon my loved ones.

 

And that’s what I was doing by wanting him to be in the next level when we wasn’t ready…

 

I trusted and felt in my gut that the people in this school knew what they were doing, and that I could trust the professionals on this one. After all, the ASYMCA is a 3 minute walk from my house, tuition was PERFECTLY within our budget, and I was very pleased to be informed it was a structured curriculum, just as kindergarten would be vs. creative curriculum.

 

I spent the next 3 days scurrying to get David’s shot records together, filling out all the paperwork, and finding a babysitter for Jacob while I was with David in school.

 

Still a bit sassy with my ego going into class today… I quickly realized how perfect this class was for David.

 

The babysitter we found for Jacob was right down the street (Truly an amazing family by the way. It was a blessing finding them so last-minute because it is affordable and I foresee future wine nights with the mom of the house too, lmao.), David and I walked over to his school and the fun began!

 

They learn how to trace and write their own names, they go over the calendar in full, sing songs in English as well as Hawaiian, arts and crafts, outside learning and play, were read 2 different stories, had snack time and so so so much more.

 

The class truly was just like kindergarten with a lot of structure and I can see exactly why they said David would get frustrated if he went to the next level first.

 

Ya wanna know something? If I had let my ego take over and fought to get him into a higher level than he was ready for or even didn’t sign him up because of my own selfish ego and pride surrounding him and his abilities, DAVID is the one who would have suffered. He would have missed out on an incredibly amazing educational opportunity, or gotten frustrated and started to develop negative feelings surrounding schooling and education.

 

As parents, we want what is best for our children.

 

But sometimes we need to remember that it’s not always what WE think is best.

 

When it comes to the children, we need to love and support them, meet them where they are and do what we can to help them succeed in life one step at a time. They will get to where they need to go, we just need to listen and pay attention to THEM instead of our own egos.

 

I have a lot more to go into regarding this topic on the podcast, so keep an eye out for that. (I will attach a link when it’s live!) I hope sharing this experience with you guys let some boss moms know they aren’t alone out there when it comes to the preschool struggles and especially when it comes to our egos with the babes. It’s okay to think the world of your babies, but we have to accept and love them for who they are and where they are in their own little journeys…

 

Until next time

 

Much love babes,

Sarah Anderegg

 

 

 

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